Just over 10 years ago, my eldest son was diagnosed with autism. Statistically speaking, nowadays this has become quite a regular experience for other American parents, as about one in every 36 children is diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).
Yet, what these cold, hard facts don’t convey is what happens when a parent hears their child’s ASD diagnosis.
Despite the many intervening years since my son’s diagnosis in 2013, the memory of that doctor’s voice still evokes my visceral reaction…
“Your son has a severe form of autism. He will require 100% assistance, as he won’t be able to eat by himself or even go to the restroom without the help of an aid.”
I remember insisting that that wasn’t true. That my son would be able to communicate, take care of himself… and that one day, we would even play basketball together.
Surely, every child’s father, mother, or guardian has some kind of a similar response to such a daunting diagnosis.
After my wife and I left that doctor’s office, the reality of what we just heard began to settle in.
As a software engineer, my analytical mind raced: What if the specialist is right? What is the root cause of this? What do we do next? Why me?
Nothing. I repeat, nothing can prepare you for such a thing. In fact, this is a life event that can easily and completely derail you, and the life you believed was yours… your wife’s, and certainly, your child’s.
You see, at that time back in 2013, I was on my way… It seemed that I was realizing the American dream. My wife was pregnant with our second child, and we were about to buy our dream house.
Along with this, we’d decided that there could absolutely be no better American Dream than helping our son develop his communication abilities and have the best life possible.
There were absolutely no guarantees in the process. It took a lot of love, dedication, and sacrifices on a personal, financial, and professional level. It was scary… and it was heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time.
Fast-forward 10 years, and today, my oldest son fluently speaks not one, but two languages. He’s an avid reader, with a deep knowledge of world coins, and an impressive coin collection to boot; a peculiar historian and a geographer. He is a fast runner and enjoys playing with his friends, as well as with his younger brother, who taught him how to
play Roblox. Sometimes, when he’s in a very good mood, we can even shoot some hoops. He’s attending a mainstream public school, where he has friends, and a very supportive special education team.
But along the way, observing the multitudes of specialists who helped our son, I kept thinking about other parents in the same situation – but perhaps with fewer resources available and not living in Los Angeles with some of the best help available.
#WeAreAkiva
